BEFORE THE ARCHITECT – GUIDANCE
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQs)
ABOUT HOME BUILDING PLANS
"True masters of their realms make it look easy, and they will neither run nor hide from your inquiry." AG
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When you're in the thick of house plans, home building plans, grown-ups ask the darndest things, too.
These are the kinds of questions that the old Autocad Granddad loves to be asked. Most are about home building plans one way or another. Let's sit a spell and read a few together, shall we?
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Q: What's your e-mail address?
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Q: Dear Autocad Granddad, Hi. I'm from California. And call me crazy but like I think I've done enough handyperson stuff to build my 600 square foot addition on my own. Like I feel like I could go right out there with my shovel and start digging, you know? So right now, you know? Can you like draw me plans so I know where to dig? I can't send you my sketches because I don't have any. But I will send you pictures so we can get started. Heavenly, TC
A: Dear Crazy, Please stay right there in your house and call the local Building Department. They'll have a thing or two to say about plans and digging and who's going to go start doing what and such. You bet. Just stay calm and call 'em now. Like so right now, Crazy. Sincerely, Autocad Granddad.
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Q: Dear Geezer, I need to feel warm fuzzy about you, before I can be really sure that you're the guy for me and my new house plans. Is that you? Sincerely, PG
A: Dear PG, I've never been called a lawyer. I've never been called an architect. I've never been called warm fuzzy. Hug a bear. In architectural design and drafting, nothing is warm fuzzy. Sincerely, The Unwarm Unfuzzy, Autocad Granddad.
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Q: Dear Autocad Granddad, I am an 18 year old who is interested in architecture. I have been searching for some info on what it takes to be an architect, and so far all I have found is info on schools and such. What I really would like to now is what it is like to actually BE an architect; lifestyle, annual pay, down time, etc. I figured that coming straight to the source, I could possibly get some answers. It would be great if you could help me answer a few questions. Thank you. KC.
A: Dear KC, I am not an architect. Never was. Hopefully, never will be.
Here are some of my personal business and behavioral characteristics that disqualify me from architecthood.
 | I don't charge too much. |
| Albeit I am slow in my work progress, I am not that slow. |
| I know that down all the years some have openly, honestly praised my achievements to third parties - an act which, on behalf of any architect, would for me be a novel experience. |
| I haven't embraced a monopoly guild, choking the life out of both competitors and clients. |
| I take the needs and wants of my clients very seriously, write them down, consider them constantly, incorporate them in my home building plans line by line. |
| I actually know a lot about actually building because I am an actual builder. |
| My beloved wife does the difficult design thinking, because she is gifted at it and I am not. |
| It is not my self-concept that clients darken my doorstep for salvation. |
| It is not my world view that all would benefit by doing it my way. |
| I don't own a pair of khakis, a Polo shirt, or chichi shoes. |
| Brie and Chablis are prohibited ingestibles hereabouts. |
| I drink beer and drive a pickup truck. |
Would that you travel known paths of architects, I respectfully suggest you lose your way from time to time for extracurricular activities focusing on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for both you and your clients.
Happy Holidays. Sincerely, Autocad Granddad
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Q: Dear Old Person Who Has Built and Drawn Things His Entire Adult Life (aka Autocad Granddad), I think your website is so wonderful and informative. You sure know a lot. You draw well, too. I need your help very much and respect you immensely for your many, many contributions to society. But how can you help me long-distance? You can't possibly ever visit my work site, can you? You don't know me really, do you? I understand that you've helped so many over the years, but I am not so sure you can help me because what you do might not work for me, you know? I feel somehow that I am different. Very sincerely, LT.
A: Dear LT, You are different. My kind of help won't help you. You need other kinds of help. Very sincerely, too, Autocad Granddad.
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Note please that there are plenty of quotes one of the AG's press releases.
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Q: Dear Mr. Granddad, You must figure that since I'm from northwestern Alabama that I must be one dumb cow flop to think I owe you a nickel. All I did was tell you what a great house design website you had, ask you a bunch of specific and general questions about a house I want to get built here, send you my floor plans, and some pics of different rooflines to go on top. And all you did was spend 3 hours writing three tightly worded, well considered pages of professional analysis in reply. So what's this about my being late in paying a bill you sent me two weeks ago? David.
A: Dear David Who Is, Indeed, One Dumb Cow Flop, Thanks for your belated reply to our efforts in contacting you regarding our work and your nonpayment. It's good to get your message. We understand your point of view completely, and have no interest whatsoever in pursuing this matter or any other matter further with you. This interaction between us to date could clearly be discerned as a practical mistake on our part, as we work very hard to every day to limit our business to honest communications and clients will be better served by others. Best wishes to all. AG
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Q: Dear Grandfather, Went to Home Depot to ask questions about building my deck here. Know what I mean? They told me to use treated lumber, let it weather a year, and then paint if it. Don't they treat that stuff with arsenic and isn't that the stuff the guy put in to the church coffee pot to make every body sick and also killed a couple of the church people. I'm sure there is better wood, right? Know what I mean? WW.
A: Dear WW, I've nothing to say except I'm mighty sorry for how your parents feel about all this. Know what I mean? AG ps: Where else were you going to build a deck but there? Know what I mean? ag
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Q: Dear AG, I live in Minnesota. . . .
A: Dear Minnesotan, Your needs will be better served by others. AG
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Q: AG: Is it ok with you if I hold your bills hostage when you don't do exactly what I expect you'll do? Sincerely, Skipper.
A: Dear Skipper, That's why they call it the honor system: it's a system respected only by the honorable. Your needs will be better served by others. AG
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Q: Dear Autocad Granddad, Mom's coming to stay now that Dad's gone on to his glory. She needs her dignity and her privacy, don't you know. But the only place we've got for her to get away – but not too far – is our basement. It's not finished. Can you help us? Sincerely, NN.
A: Dear NN, You bet I can help. You live a ways away from here, so I'm counting on you to draw your basement freehand and write in all the wall dimensions, and the framed door openings, if you have the basement framed. Windows, too . . . their size and how high off the ground. Pictures would be a big help. Pack it all up and send it to me, and we'll talk soon. Basements are my friends. Say hi to Mom for me. Sincerely, Autocad Granddad.
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Q: Dear AG, We've found the perfect lot at last. And the perfect house to build on it. Well, almost perfect. The house plans make two of the upstairs bedrooms too small for our liking. Can you draw changes to the plans so that we can live our dream? Sincerely, DB.
A: Dear DB, I sure can draw those changes you write about. Send me a copy of the plans and draw me what it is you think you want and need for more room. You're close enough by that I may invite myself over to talk with you about what can be done. Modifying plans are a real treat for me. We all should live our dreams. Sincerely, AG.
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Q: Dear Autocad Granddad, We've heard you're good. My wife Emma and I need someone good. We can see clear now to build the house we always wanted, but couldn't afford. Until now. Cleaned up on short sales is what we did. You bet. Lot of them. Bigtime. We're thinking about 5,000 square feet Italianate. Central courtyard and a kidney bean pool. Guest house for all our jealous friends to stay when they visit. What do you say? Respectfully, RD.
A: Dear RD, What fine fortune for you. It's good that you've got lots of loot, because you'll need it to pay for the designs and drawings of some fancy-do bunch of architects. Autocad Granddad doesn't do monster mansions from scratch. You'd be better served by others. Still, you are right. I am that good. Sincerely, Autocad Granddad.
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Q: Dear AG, We found a lot that's almost right for us, and all the good ones are gone to speculator builders. Should we keep looking or settle for this one? Sincerely, LN
A: Dear LN, I cannot wave a wand over wherever you are, and, thereby, grant you safe passage and harbor. No construction property's perfect any more than the folks who work it, including me. I sense your personal caution bordering on reluctance. That good lots have gone to specs is not favorable, unless the builders missed an opportunity - and that can happen. Are there other neighborhoods by which to gauge and test your prospect? The more you look, the more you learn about what's out there, about what you don't know and had better, and about yourselves and a house that suits you. Sincerely, AG
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Q: AG, I do not know what you are selling. What? Your site does not make sense to me! Out of professional respect, I am ME, Architect. You would know that if you looked at my website! Sincerely, M.E., Architect.
A: Dear M, Please accept my abject apology. Now I know how important you are, and how unworthy I am. Thanks to you, I do. Thank you, AG (Note to the reader: We were running about one million hits a month when this excerpted note arrived. Similar rants arrive on my desktop about once every quarter, as often as not from an architect. That's entertainment. AG.)
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Q: Dear AG, My listing's font looks smaller than the others. J
A: Dear
J, I think that I can trace this realization of yours to its root causes.
1. After years working at point-blank with my web editor, I am occasionally
still baffled with my own ignorance or its bad attitude.
2. There are times - this being one of them - when all looks well to me both in
two forms of local server screen display and when I view it on the Web (I always
check just to keep such moments as these at a minimum); whereas, when you view
it on the web, it sucks.
3. The world is a cold, cruel place. Evil abounds on the fruited plain,
and it is my spiritual conviction that it is your duty (and mine, by derivation)
to distinguish good and evil, and, therefrom, make our planet a better place for
us and ours to come. I suppose this situation could be discerned as a test
of our mettle. AG
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Q: Dear Fellow, Thank you for your interest in linking with my web site. I have reviewed your request to exchange on-links and have visited your web site "Before the Architect".
Since I am a practicing design professional - registered Architect, certified Interior Designer as well as a Furniture Design Artist, I believe exchanging links may be a conflict of interest for me. Therefore, you will understand, won't you, that I must decline your offer? Best of luck in your ventures.... KAI.
A: Dear KAI, Don't I know you from somewhere else? Weren't you also that famous Captain in the Queen's Na-Vee? Or are you Humpty-Dumpty? Didn't mean to scare you. Sincerely, AG.
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Q: Dear Autocad Granddad, All she can talk about is "blowing out the den wall" to build a real family room and deck to match. Well, I'm not blowing out or building anything but gas. Do you blow out and build? Help. Desperately, ME.
A: Dear ME, No, I only know some about designing and drafting. Chances are excellent that I can help. May I stop by Thursday to see what's up? Call me and we'll set a convenient time. Sincerely, Autocad Granddad.
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Q: Dear Autocad Granddad, I need a stock set of drawings or two for my crews. They build decks, but not always the kinds of decks they're supposed to build. You know, drawings like a Chinese menu, with different rails and some different plank sizes and patterns. Stairs, too. Is this the sort of thing you can do? Yours truly, ZC
A: Dear ZC, That's the sort of thing I can do. What I need to know from you is how many patterns and of what kind you'll need. So, first send me representative samples – pictures are swell – of the rails, balusters, and the like that your customers want. I'll get right on it. Speak with you soon. Sincerely, Autocad Granddad.
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Q: Dear GEEZER, My buddy and I want to build this RV house for our RVs parked behind our houses. We're neighbors. Want to park 'em together. Real close. Right along the lot line - half on his, half on mine. We got lots of land and no clue how to build this thingy, but we're handy. Gotta do it cheap. Cheapest. You don't cost much, right? Say 30' wide and 40', maybe 50', could even be 60' long someday. Rustic is good. We sort of want to get natural with this thing, don't you know. Stuff from the forest, but a shingle roof. All we need to know is how big should we get for tree posts? Spans and stresses and all that. Send a proposal. Waitin' on you, RV Guy.
A: Dear Goober & Co., Here's my proposal. I propose you and your buddy get as natural as you can get. Remember, organic is your friend. Get down and handy, don't you know. Build till you burst for the joy of it all. Some fun, eh? When it collapses, perhaps we can get something going. That is, if you two survive. Adios, The Geez.
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